I want so badly to give up today. Need to detox. From my life.

What's the point of anything.

Dear boy, If they ask, I will tell them that when the grief and sorrow turned me into water,  you became a fish. Found a way to swim through me. You felt so weightless.

I will tell them that the day I knew I would love you one day happened not when you fixed my broken places or when your arms became my home, but rather when you let me do the same for you.

Dear boy, if they ask, I will say that we were always only temporary and we knew it, but it only served to make our time together all the more special. I will tell them of the way we laughed for hours about nothing and everything.

I will say you sprang forth from the pages of a comic, all superhero and tragic and fantasy world made up. And when you leapt from the pages, the stories came with you stuck on your back like a Cape of words.

Dear boy, if they ask, I will say it was the way we recognized nothing in each other that we could really see each other. There was no painful history to draw from. There was no duplicate shadow lingering in your eyes.

I will tell them about the way you cupped my chin with your fingers when I wouldn't look at you in the eyes. The way you made me see even when I didn't want to, and I was so much better for it. When you saw me disappearing into my mind, the way you tethered me back to earth, to your arms, to your smile.

Dear boy, if they ask, I will not tell them how we ended, or that there were so many tears in the end. I will show them how we began, and all the beauty we gave each other. I will say thank you into the ether and hope the words find their way to you.

SVU

Whatever person I choose should be my choice.

When I'm ready to see someone that way,  I will.

It'll mean something to me and it'll come from me

and it won't be about what was done to me.

Every relationship ever has been about what was done to me. None have ever come from me. This.  This.  Is how I know we are not right for each other any further than this band aid.

It is a selfish thing people do.  Rely on each other for anything.