Today is easier

Today I got up. The gym was a thing. Pampering myself was a thing. Making plans to see people was a thing. And the night was not as difficult. And there are no voices or echoes. Tomorrow will be good too. Tomorrow cleaning will be a thing and the gym will be a thing. I bought groceries today too. Not a lot. Just enough.  I will take such good care of myself this week. Look at me, planning life in weeks and not days. Not hours. Not minutes. Not seconds. Planning life. Like I want it.

Seriously though.  Like the smallest wind will blow me away. Like expensive China breaking over and over again. Like the moment before falling when the ground is still rushing at you; massive and inevitable.