Brave

She called me brave.  But brave is only something you can be when you are scared but show up anyway,  I have never been brave.  I run away from everything that scares me. I wait, sometimes too late,  until i think I'm ready.  I do not jump in feet first into the abyss.  I never have.

So i know she is talking about herself.

So long ago he said du courage ma petit have courage my dear.  Be brave. And I wasn't. I slept in his bed and woke up screaming and crying and kicking every time.  And the bed is gone.  And he is gone.  And I still wake up crying and kicking and screaming sometimes.