Today I carry you. I've put you in my purse and all the pockets. It's heavy on my shoulders.  My back becomes curved. But I will still get up.

Shower

Brush teeth

Sigh as often as I need to.

Today I believe everything you say. 

Take medication

It's only a chemical thing

In the way that everything that happens in my body is a chemical thing.  Smiling breathing reading crying. Just a series of chemical reactions.

It doesn't make me believe you any less.

I made this decision and living with the consequences just makes it hard to breathe sometimes.