I went back. I read it all.  This last one lasted 2 months. Started at the beginning of November.  I think mr s.i. was the trigger. And it took me all the way until now to come back. I don't know how long i'll be here. I hope I get a couple months.

Tonight will be hard.
But maybe it doesn't have to be. Maybe it can just be another night. I was leaving home yesterday,  locking up and I had this thought in passing. "It's his birthday tomorrow" and it's not. Not his birth day.  It's his death day. It's been my birthday I've been celebrating all these years. Because I think that's when so much of who I am today was born.

Maybe tonight doesn't have to be hard. I'm in a good place. Depressive episode over. Maybe I don't have to go back just yet. Maybe i can be alone. Just another night.