Wanting is hard. Stopping myself is hard. Letting go is hard.

But I miss him.

When I feel like I can't make it through the day,  I try to make it through the hour.  And there are so few hours left in the day. I'll finish up.  I'll get out of here early. I'll find a corner to write in.  And the world won't seem as bad. I have me. I have my words. I have the memories. That's enough for now.

On moments like these,  it helps to take a step back and remember there is no permanence here. It is a kindness to let people leave. There's nothing here worth staying for. And it would be such a cruel thing to let people in and then break them.

The way he did. Broke me.