If these things affect me this strongly, that means I'm not ready.  If giving a heart away makes it crumble that means I still need to keep holding it until the glue dries.  I am not lonely. I do not need a partner, instead i need to stop trying to distract myself with distractions.  Because it would be so easy to wrap myself up in another person.  Their wants their needs.  So easy to avoid my own.

This is what i made it mean: i attract people who are bad for me. People who will use and hurt me. This is what I made it mean: I am wrong and broken and there is something so wrong with me that everyone can tell I am someone to take advantage of. This is what I made it mean: love is not unconditional. Love is not kind,  love is not patient. This is what I made it mean: I am unlovable. I am not worthy of respect. This is what I made it mean: hide,  withdraw, push everyone away. There is nobody to trust but yourself.