Did you think, I wonder, that I would air out all the dirty laundry? That I would open a door that you forced me to shut. Did you think, all those bruises and scars didn't work. To shut me up. To keep me quiet. To control me.
Be glad. Feel proud. They did. You won. You always win. There is no cat to let out of the bag here, and noises in the dark still scare me into submission. I have made my box larger. I can occupy more space now. My desk is out in the open and there are quotes written in permanent marker on my furniture. But rest easy knowing you will always own me. My body still cringes when someone enters my space. The nightmares still come at night sometimes. The quiet still screams in my head so loud that I can barely hear the world outside.
Was this what you wanted? Can you breathe a sigh of relief now? It's ok, don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I will drown in it soon enough and you'll never have to worry again.
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