One day,  the ghost came back. In the shape of a boy with an easy smile and a kind heart. One day the ghost boy made me feel like home. Like family.

These things are too much.

Old me would run away at this point and choose safety instead. Destruction instead.

What if I want to keep the ghost boy around because I want to punish him for leaving. To make him feel the way I did. Not say out loud the deadline ever looming above our heads. Above MY head.  There is no our and never can be.

She said,  take the week and write about the why of a thing.  About why it's so hard for you to accept love. She doesn't know,  there is no love here.

He said,  my dear,  don't you see,  this door was closed and he opened it for you. And I cried and the song came on the radio and I had nothing to say.

Don't you know,  dear boy,  heartbreaker,  my heart. Every day I wish I was coming home to you,  not your ghost.