I thought it was a thing that I could use to find a way to reach for something more for myself.  It worked before you see.  But this world too has lost its luster.  Nothing is shiny anymore,  and I am left to find myself, by myself.  I do not know how to ask, what do you want from me? Without it sounding like I'm saying,  i know you are here to hurt me and I'm just waiting for this too to implode.